Don’t allow yourself to be lulled into a false sense of security or you’ll lose your job or your partner

Don’t wait until someone threatens your territory

For most of us an ordinary workday scenario would be like this:

Comfortably sitting in the office chair, sipping on our 3rd coffee, scrolling through social media the 12,293th time, checking on our colleagues’ new gossip, playing CandyCrush, and watching Youtube videos until we’re bored out of our minds.

We’re doing EVERYTHING but working. Obviously, not everyone has this kind of thrilling office day, but quite many, I suppose. If not, I can’t explain why in many companies efficiently working is such an issue.

Anyway, I won’t write about efficiency, but two weeks ago, I was in the office and asked an employee, who’s responsible for our company’s Internet presence, to pass me on the task. I asked him because it’s been months since he was asked to finish that project.

You can imagine the reaction. “Why do you need the files? I was going to do it, I just didn’t have time?” He was obviously stressed and threatened.

I went out of the room and immediately, this question popped into my mind: “Why don’t you do your job properly BEFORE you’re threatened that someone else is going to do it?”

Exactly, this question made me think of an issue many of us have both in our jobs and relationships:

It’s the attitude towards our job and/or our partner that makes us do our jobs and live our relationship half-heartedly.

What does this look like?

In our jobs:

• We can do our jobs with both hands tied because we know our job so well; we do everything on autopilot, automatically in a sense.
• We work through most of our tasks without thinking too much and without awareness. We just do it because we’re used to doing it.
• Sometimes, our 9/5 job gets boring because we know so much (not everything) about our profession. We see it as something ordinary and not special.
• We don’t feel the urge to change anything about it, evolve or learn more about a certain/new topic that could enhance our understanding of some important aspects of our job.
• We don’t challenge ourselves or get out of our comfort zone although, we know that comfort kills potential and opportunities.

As for our relationship:

• We also treat our long-time partners like our hands are literally tied and our eyes blinded. We’re on autopilot here as well.
• We lose the ability to see differences in our partners, mentally and physically.
• We don’t put enough effort into maintaining a healthy and balanced relationship.
• Sometimes, the things we do with our partners get boring because we usually go to the same places, meet the same people, etc. So, we don’t try new and exciting things.
• We don’t see a point in learning different aspects of our partner. We think we know everything about them (their flaws, strengths, and weaknesses). It’s like we don’t need to know anything else.
• The most toxic thing though, is that we take our partners for granted which doesn’t even need explanation because we all know what ‘taking something/someone’ for granted can lead to.

BUT what happens when someone threatens ‘your territory’?

How do we react when a new colleague in our department makes the same job, we’re fed up, better than us?

How do we react when some guy/girl is flirting with our “boring”partner?

WE GET EXTREMLY POSSESSIVE!

It’s like a wake-up call: ”Hey sleepyhead, someone is going to take what’s yours!”

If someone endangers ‘our territory’, it’s like we’ve got our dirty windows cleaned. It clears our view.

Like the meerkat GIF, we’re anxiously looking around and asking ourselves:

• Where does the danger come from?
• Who is it?
• What does s(he) want?
• Am I in trouble?
• Will I lose my job/my partner?
• Have I been too sure about myself?

We become more aware of our surroundings, situation, and our behavior. We see it from a different perspective if you will.

It’s not just the 9/5 job and the boring relationship anymore; the possibility that YOU might be part of the problem also comes into play.

And it’s the simple explanation that once someone does your job better and more enthusiastically than you or flirts with your partner, you start asking this question:

What did s(he) see in my job or in my partner I missed?

What should we do to not lose our jobs/relationships then?

The keyword here is COMMITMENT!

Commit to your job and your partner!

Commitment in the sense of being dedicated no matter what. Even if your job or relationship is boring and not challenging at times, still be dedicated to putting in the effort to do your best.

And also:

1. Don’t be self-indulgent! Always strive for a better relationship and be better at your job.
2. Don’t wait until someone threatens ‘your territory’! Always endeavored to thrive in your job and your relationship.
3. Don’t see your job/partner as something you learned enough about! You can always learn new aspects and facets.
4. Don’t ever be too complacent! There are many people that are more ambitious and way more attractive than you. You better watch out!

Most importantly, never allow yourself to be lulled into a false sense of security.

As Michael Meade properly put it: “A false sense of security is the only kind there is.”

A false sense of security always means a false sense of self and your environment!

Keep your window clean and your eyes open by committing 100%!

Thanks for reading.:-)

Hatice